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Please approach the blue mat and throw a tantrum

27 JUNE

Stephanie Judkins gave me a tour of the Heifer Learning Center at Heifer Ranch. The Ranch is an incredible place and the people there are doing some seriously compassionate education. Of course, I couldn’t leave the Ranch without purchasing a kid’s book about farm animals…We retired to Stephanie’s tiny house and I read to goats, chickens, guinea hens, and her delightful three-legged dog, Chaplin Sue. I remain smitten with Plushenko, pictured below with Giggle Giggle Quack, by Doreen Cronin.

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One of my reading companions for today! #easybakeheart

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28 JUNE

Pyramid Art, Books & Custom Framing (glorious source of my new favorite book – If You Plant a Seed, by Kadir Nelson), Mosaic Templars Cultural Center (excellent), and the Hillary Rodham Clinton Children’s Library & Learning Center (books! bees! free breakfast and lunch for kids!) before I drove out to Jackson, MS.

29 JUNE

Shannon and Joe Frost took me to the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum. The MCRM offers a good example of spacial hospitality (that soft place to land). Each section is a semi-circle fanning out from an open central area with comfortable seats and soft, slowly changing lighting emanating from a swooping ceiling sculpture. Gospel music plays, allowing for an emotional reset for the museum-goer before launching back into the exhibits.

30 JUNE ***WORKSHOP at BELHAVEN UNIVERSITY — 1PM-4PM***

Joe Frost graciously gathered 6 of his alumni and an incoming Freshman: Connor Bingham, Ginny Holladay Jessee, James Kenyon, Laina Faul, Lauren Tobin, Lydia Lippincott, and Nina Frost. They were So Game and threw themselves immediately into play. We tackled experiencing primary emotions while exploring an array of toys, books, and paper.

I had them do the adult step of the Who/What/Where Adult v. Child Self-Care exercise, then asked them to turn their paper over and draw how the opposite of all that goodness made them feel. One of the participants later said that the air was sucked out of the room.

AND THEN THERE WERE GLORIOUS TANTRUMS

One by one, I took their drawings and asked them to approach a blue gym mat and throw a tantrum. They were beautiful in their similarities and differences. Some were long, loud, and took up lots of space. Others were quiet, contained, and utterly terrifying. I asked for a tantrum coach and they guided me through a workplace scenario so I could have a constructive, adult tantrum with a piece of construction paper (which, btw, led directly to a scene I wrote this morning…).

I read In My Heart: a book of feelings, by Jo Witek, aloud and they played while experiencing the emotions associated with the words. We rolled primary and secondary emotion dice and played in the resulting combined emotional states, then wrote four-line scenes corresponding to the combo-states we felt most at home in. 

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All of the above was really fruitful, and my favorite part came when we took out pictures of our tiny selves and adopted those poses to find a) how we felt then and b) how we might wish to feel now as adults.  That’s me in a 20-month-old version of a herkie. My words: open, curious, seen. After a pose was demonstrated and described, the rest of us matched it before moving to the next person. The best roadtrip phrase so far came from this activity: “airport pooping.” Genius. Thank you, Ginny!

By the end, everyone laid on their bellies or sat cross-legged and decorated a large cardboard box. It was marvelous.

01 JULY

Much needed downtime with the Frost Family.

02 JULY

Birmingham, Alabama
I am still processing the 16th Street Baptist Church and Kelly Ingram Park. The Park is home to the Freedom Walk, a series of sculptures depicting police dogs, water cannons, and children imprisoned for marching for civil rights in 1963. After viewing the church and walking the park, I sat down to try to read selected children’s books aloud and started weeping after reading the first sentence of Let the Children March (Monica Clark-Robinson, Frank Morrison illus.). I chose, instead, to self-sooth by reading the books to myself: The Golden Rule (Ilene Cooper, Gabi Swiatkowska illus.), If You Plant a Seed (Kadir Nelson), and The Rabbits’ Wedding (Garth Williams – the book was banned in Alabama in 1959 for “integrationist propaganda”). 

Cleveland, TN
Stacey Isom Campbell! Also, I bought a 1978 Easy-Bake Oven in working order 🙂

03 JULY

Writing and resting and real tacos and lemon pie and parallel play with Stacey. A good day.

Tomorrow – on to Charlotte, NC

One workshop down

It’s 100º here in Little Rock. Canadian summers have softened me and I have wilted often the past few days here in the South. I have to say though, as much as my hair looks like a freshly humidity-laundered poodle, I have missed walking through this soup.

23 JUNE

I rolled into Memphis and had a lovely chat about hospitality with my host, Kaelin. The phrase “a soft place to land” has been echoing in several chambers recently and it reflects the kind of space I want to create for other artists.

I settled in for my fourth Our Own Voice Theatre Troupe (OOVTT) production. I was extremely lucky to find them in 2002 when I was casting about for a master’s thesis topic and have been grateful ever since for their generosity and ethic. Their latest outing, Neuro Plastic City, explores how we make connections and see patterns (as well as how we might seek to break them). Good, good stuff, and I borrowed a pen at intermission to write down more ideas for our workshop the next day.

24 JUNE **WORKSHOP with OOVTT — 3:30PM-6:00PM**

My first easybake workshop was made possible by the most gracious eleven individuals: Alanna Stewart, Alexander Parker, Ann Sieber, Bill Baker, Ian Lemmonds, Jonathan McCarver, Katherine Dohan, Khyber Daniel, Kiña del Mar, Linley Schmidt, and Sarah Rushakoff.  I pulled out all of my over-sized legos, playdough, molding foam balls, hand-me-down Brobee, and so many crayons/markers/colored pencils and construction paper. A sampling of our activities:

Self-Care Hot Potato

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We passed foam dice with dry erase panels on them around a circle while I hummed inane children’s songs. When the music stopped, the holder of a die wrote down a word or phrase describing a self-care activity they employ. We repeated this until we had filled two six-sided dice with drumming, music, hydrate, yoga, snack, precision jumping, pray/meditate, disentangle, exercise, aimless driving with my sweetie, sleep, and writing. We then tossed the dice around and the holder mimed what they saw on a panel for the group. Then the person who had written that word/phrase told us about how that activity makes them feel.  (We also incorporated the dice into Self-care Simon Says later in the workshop.)

Adult Meets Child Self-Care

  1. On a sheet of white paper, we mapped:
    a. WHO – a list of people I feel safe with, I can call for help or companionship, I trust with my care, who know my history/circumstances
    b. WHERE – places which make me feel secure and safe
    c. WHAT – activities that make me feel in control, centered, alive and/or happy
  2. We stepped away from the table, stretched, did a wash-off-the-day ritual, and then made some silly faces to shake off our adults.
  3. We sat at the table in a child-like posture and answered the same prompts on colored construction paper, this time thinking as our kid-selves.
  4. We examined the two sheets of paper for similarities and asked how it might feel if we incorporated something from the child paper into our adult lives tomorrow (after a debrief with one of the participants, I’ll now also ask what it might be like to use one of our adult self-care prompts as self-compassion when thinking about our younger selves).

Going for a Walk

We walked randomly around the room and I would stop a participant and give them one of Kali Quinn’s values rephrased as a self-care action to model for the rest of the group to do: tell someone they are beautiful, greet a stranger, review your relationship with technology, move through life as a clown, etc.

Holding Space in Practice

I ditched the final activity I had planned for us (group-decorating a large cardboard box) in favor of continued conversation while we drew and sculpted various things. We spent our last 40 minutes together talking about the other ways in which we practice self-care, reasons why we don’tthe importance of valuing artists and their contributions (Frederick, by Leo Lionni), the necessity of community (talking to our ancestors, and how our increased access to sugar is a good metaphor for our increased isolation), the significance of modeling self-care, and how the reverse of self-care is tearing ourselves down or letting others do that for us.

We closed our time together in an uncomfortably tight circle just feeling each other breathe. I am so thankful for the willingness of OOVTT to be guinea pigs in this grand experiment of mine!

*** If any of my OOVTT folks are reading this: HYDRATE! ***

25 JUNE

The National Civil Rights Museum took every minute of the three hours I’d allotted myself and I feel I still need to go back. It’s an amazing facility and I deeply recommend the experience. I drove to Little Rock (a little zigzag between Memphis and Jackson) to meet up with friends I’d not seen in 15 years, Monica and Greg Robinson and Stephanie Judkins to attend a benefit for Lucie’s Place. It was wonderful to hear Greg sing after all of these years and to hear their kiddos also tearing up the stage.

26 JUNE

Central High School Visitor’s Center and the Clinton Presidential Library and Museum. Tonight I’ll go see Monica in Menopause the Musical. When it’s 100º, everything feels like a hot flash, so in addition to my anticipation of seeing my friend onstage, it seems appropriate.

Tomorrow I may very well read to goats!

10,000 Sq Ft of Rhizomes

rhizomeI had a great conversation with my old friend Tim Caldwell last night in which, among many other things, we talked about the sometimes rhizomic nature of making new art. It’s often a series of seemingly unrelated ideas, gestures, and pieces. It’s only when enough of them poke their little heads up that that random stack of books you’ve been reading, those long talks you’ve been having, those half-started snatches of text you’ve been writing, and the news stories over which you’ve been weeping or raging, start to feel deeply and purposely connected and you say, “Oh, so that’s what I’ve been making! But, I have no idea where that came from or where it’s going to go…Yay!”

Today, I walked through a teacher’s supply store in Springfield, MO, and encountered 10,000 sq ft of: “What can this do/be? Where can this go? What else is it connected to? What are the possibilities if…and then what if…and then…?”  So many scattered pockets of otherwise detached activities and actions except for the roots of play and color and the hopefully unexpected growing just under the surface.  

In related news, anyone know where I can get a (free) dump truck full of kinetic sand?

Rhizome image credit: Kevin Murray and Katerina Gloushenkova

Here in my tower

I’m sitting in the third-floor tower of a gorgeous Victorian home in Louisville, KY. Below me are my wonderful friend Bethany and her beloved Chris. In front of me is a google drive of easybake workshop materials and a copy of Kali Quinn’s I Am Compassionate Creativity. Above me is the sound of a million raindrops on the roof and Eva Cassidy’s magical voice fills all the space in between.

How do you self-care?

 

 

 

 

 

Animal Crackers

Sometime last year, I crossed the border at Detroit/Windsor.  After lightning speed questions about where I live, why I live in Canada of all places, why I married a Canadian…not a Canadian? An American who works in Canada? Why the heck would anyone want to do that? …my exchange with the border agent went something like this: 

Agent X: Anything to declare? Fruit, meats, purchases?
Me: No, Sir.
X: (checks backseat) No snacks or anything?
Me: If you count animal crackers…
X: (regards me for a moment, then grins a mile wide) Heads?
Me: Beg pardon?
X: Heads?
Me: I’m sorry?
X: You eat the heads first or the tails?
Me: Um…I try to keep my eyes on the road rather than their anatomy, but when I’m stationary, the elephant’s trunk perishes first.
X: (laughs and returns passport) Very good – drive safe and enjoy your stay in the US!

When I crossed at Detroit/Windsor today, I had the same border agent and he asked me the exact same lightning speed questions. 

He then inquired about the status of my Canadian work permit and what I do in Canada. He got really excited when I said I’m an actor…less excited when I told him no, I make small, experimental theatre, so he probably hasn’t seen me in anything… He asked what that sort of work looks like,  so I told him about working with different kinds of artists on a common theme, and how there isn’t always a defined stage space and rows of audience seating…

X: (Long pause…deadly serious) Who goes to see that weird stuff?
Me:  People who want to be challenged or to hear stories they don’t usually encounter, blah blah blah…

^That crossed through bit was obviously theoretical me. Actual Me thought of the growing line of cars behind me, the long road still ahead, and longed for the animal-crackery banter of yore, so…

Me: Weird folks?
X: (laughs and returns passport) Well, good luck with that! Drive safe and enjoy your stay in the US!

Sigh.